For years, I never really recognised the real meaning behind trauma and the effects of what 'trauma' has on our body along with our thought process.
Now I thought it would be a good way, for all of those reading this to understand why my journey has reached out mainly to those children and families who have been through trauma, as it started with me as that 'child' and that has made me want to make a difference - no matter how big or small.
For years, I have thought through my own experiences:
'What is wrong with me?'
'Why cant I be like everyone else?'
When actually thinking now, everyone has their own trauma- whether that is BIG or SMALL, we all interpret it differently and that should be valid not to judge or make comments, but to be present and kind to who ever needs the support.
I myself have had to evolve to change over the years and I have needed to make that change. We cannot just expect results with no change, there has to be changes to see results..
So what has this journey looked like for me ?
Understanding
Knowing when my body is going into survival mode, whether this is fight/flight or fawn. I have been through all survival responses... for years wanting to people please, wanting people to like me and sacrificing my own needs- when our changes need to start firstly with ourselves.
Triggers
To know that I struggle with dark, crowded and unknown environments.
How have I dealt with this? : Improvisation, we cannot always avoid these areas but preparation is key as much as possible, to plan with these uncomfortable situations. I need to know my exit and using grounding techniques around me.
Coping Mechanisms
It is not until recently I realised the power of music. There is a emotion for every piece of music, Bob Marley has always been a favourite for me and the words are so meaningful. As music not only supports how we feel, but the singer singing it has got to feel the words they are speaking.
Support Network
Support networks are key, sometimes on the darkest days, you need a ear just to offload or to simple feel a sense of normality. I have learnt that those that are not there on the darkest days are because our journeys have drifted, everyone is introduced for key messages, but ending also spark new beginnings on reasons beyond our control.
Setting Boundaries
This is the most recent technique I am being able to use more of allowing more time for me, my children and saying no. Those who value me have been supportive and this has been a important step in my own mental health to say no.
My advice to any individual on their own journey , is be YOU! The whole social system is difficult and it is evolving but unfortunately is still not where it needs to be to treat everyone uniquely.
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